Comedy

Dance, Monkey: Robby Roadsteamer

We put a comic on the hot seat

By SARA FAITH ALTERMAN | February 12, 2008

Robby Roadsteamer

President Bush just proposed an unprecedented $3.1 trillion annual budget. What do you think he should spend it on?
Building up other cities besides New York and LA. Why not invest in South Dakota? Wouldn’t that be great if there were three places in the US that people in France would want to visit? Just put it all into South Dakota.

Government rebels in Chad have withdrawn from the nation’s capital in order to allow civilians to flee to safe territory. Wouldn’t you rebel, too, if you lived in a country with a douchebag name like Chad?
Who’s Chad? Oh, there’s a country called Chad? When you hear the name Chad, you think untucked Oxfords, seashell necklaces. That’s why I live in Lower Allston instead of Upper Allston. It’s like ’Nam up there. They’re all out in the streets in their dress shirts, screaming.

MAD magazine announced an upcoming two-page spread of satirical illustrations done by 10 Pulitzer Prize–winning editorial cartoonists. Name three things you would rather do than be in any way associated with MAD magazine.
Fall in love. Beat GoldenEye 007 on “hard.” Put all my money and resources into funding Big Trouble in Little China: The Musical. We’re still trying to cast the female lead. We’ll take out a full-page ad in the Herald so people can read the paper and be like, “Ernie Boch has new cars for sale? And they’re casting for Big Trouble in Little China: The Musical this Saturday? I’ve gotta go!” And then it turns into a bad ’80s movie.

What song should we choose for the first dance at our wedding?
I’m really putting my money on “Hold Me” by Fleetwood Mac. Rumours is the album where everyone starts fucking everyone else in the band. The albums after that, you can hear that they all hate each other.

Robby Roadsteamer | Great Scott, Allston | February 25 | 617.734.4502