About half our crew is still staggering around New Hampshire with those maniacs from the GOP, who continue to embarass themselves and their party. That goes double for the frontrunner, our old friend Mittens, who will probably lock up the nomination tomorrow -- much to the delight of progressives, whose job is right now being done for them by Newt Gingrich and his merry band of political suicide bombers.

I realized soon into today's Manchester Town Hall why John McCain had to endorse Mitt Romney. It never dawned on me before, but it seems that the senator from Arizona's wife shares a blonde helmet with Callista Gingrich. If forced to appear next to each other, one would have to wear a yellow mop bucket.

The Republican presidential slate ain't Seinfeld's posse (though some share views on race with Michael Richards). That's for sure. Despite it being 2012 and all, for GOP shitpiles there is something wrong with being gay, unless of course you're married to a candidate and still in the closet.

As we've seen over the past few months, this is the most shamelessly homophobic group of idiots imaginable, with one White House wannabe – who has more gay rumors circulating about him than John Travolta – going so far as to mock Brokeback Mountain in a campaign ad.